You read the headline, I mean it.
I can’t drive; I walk, get the bus or get lifts in other people’s cars and it really pisses me off when I see a cyclist. Let me explain.
If I’m walking on the pavement too or from the pub there is usually at least a hundred (perhaps a slight exaggeration) cyclists riding towards me. Cyclists on cycles are not pedestrians. This isn’t the Oz we’re living in where it is perfectly acceptable to have wheeled people walking around; this is the normal, grey, wet, cold world where pavements are meant for things using legs to gain forward momentum. If you ride a bike on the pavement I will walk into you, hopefully forcing you into the path of oncoming traffic.
Red lights mean stop. Simple. I have no reason to have any knowledge of the Highway Code but even I know that bit. Red. Stop. Red. Stop. Fucking simple. If cyclists weren’t too busy listening to iPods and admiring themselves and their alloy penis extensions in any reflective surface they passed perhaps I wouldn’t have to keep dodging them at pedestrian crossings.
When on the road, you are a vehicle not a lighthouse or a laser-rock show. Again, this bit is simple – a single white light burning forward and a red light burning continuously to the rear. No blue lights, no flashing halogen bulbs or neon signs which say “I’m a massive dick”. Two. Little. Lights. One. Red. The. Other. White. Idiots.
I’m starting to think all cyclists are retarded shit-heads.
*There are a few exceptions, but most cyclists are shit-heads.
